THE PACIFIER

THE PACIFIER IS TRUE TO IT'S NAME: IT SUCKS

I was looking forward to this movie. The teasers were simply funny! But then the thing about heightened expectations is that sooner or later you'd realize it's a very long way to fall --- and usually the floor wouldn't be as friendly as turning to a trampoline to throw you back up again.

This movie, just really, really, really sucked. The punchlines are decades old, Vin Diesel can't act, the kids although cute are shallow and vapid and IRRITATING. The best actor in the whole film is a three-month old kid who can't even speak yet. ANd this movie has a duck in it. A DUCK. I mean, c'mon. Mixing Vin Diesel and a duck. When did they ever think that would ever fly??? And it wasn't even a cute duck. It was a shallow and vapid and IRRITATING duck.

The plot could've been written by a six-year-old kid obsessed with the Navy Seals. It makes as much sense and excitement as an M&M's commercial.

Miss Congeniality: Armed and Fabulous

BULLOCK SCORES ANOTHER HIT

You don't have to be Einstein to enjoy the movie. You just have to be, well, really bored. Or a big Sandra fan. And it turns out I am both.

Be sure to understand that when you do buy the ticket for this movie, you are accepting the fact that it's a feel-good movie, trying very hard to be politically correct about the everlasting contest between beauty and brains and yet absolutely failing in that regard.

Sure, you could see the punch line a mile away, but who cares? It's never cheap, and are executed perfectly by the actors. Sandra Bullock is fabulous in that role. She's believable as a tomboyish-hell-may-care-how-flat-my-hair-kinda-girl. And yet, she's believable as a beauty queen/public figure too. It's a big hooray to girls who aren't known for being beautiful but being good in what they do. Big props to Sam Fuller as well. Although, she is a bit too intense and mellowed out a bit too swiftly if I may say so myself. But hey, attitude problems are rarely resolved in two hours. And the movie could only last so long.

It's still showing in theaters, peeps... try to catch it when you can.
**** out of 5 stars