If movies allow us to escape to other worlds, here then is an account of the journey

Saturday, May 14, 2005

The Amityville Horror

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Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Philip Baker Hall
Directed by: Andrew Douglas

The thing about Horror Movies is that they often turn out to be Horrible Movies. A lot of films go for the gore and the ugly faces to freak people out, and I wish I could say this movie had been different. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.

I wasn’t able to watch the original Amityville Horror movie of 1979. And somehow, I don’t think I want to now. Come to think of it, I am not a horror movie fanatic. I avoid it as much as I can. Not just because I scare easy, but also because horror movies rarely know where the truth is at. As I’ve said, they like popping in bloody faces in, blood dripping from faucets, kids hanging by their necks from the rafters are also a favorite, and of course, the self-closing and opening windows and doors. As if the only way you could tell there’s a ghost in the house is if your door acts on automatic pilot most of the time. Bill Gates’ house has doors and windows that open at the touch of a button, a pool that fills itself up, and a broom that sweeps the floor all by itself, but somehow no one ever thought that as frightening. Only how much money he’s making earns the gasps of disbelief. But I digress. Most horror movies disappoint me, because obviously, the scriptwriters never saw a ghost in their life and they’re just pilfering ideas from other scare-movies until they’ve rehashed everything ad nauseam.

The scariest things are unseen – you’d think they know that. Horror is a mental state, not a visual effect. A good scary story must have a story, first of all, a presence, a looming darkness, an uncertainty. Good horror films work well because they have a preference to use shadows and blurry edges. They find a way to evoke the heavy-air feeling that ghostly presence brings with it. That’s what it feels like to feel ghosts, and you can trust my word for it. Evil is another word that brings crisp thunder to mind, a cackling laugh that sticks in you head, and malevolent intent that you could feel prickling at the back of your neck. It rarely needs to involve bathroom mirrors and bathtubs with unseen hands dragging you down.

It would also help if the actors in the film could at least partially pretend they weren’t just pretending to be scared. Alright, I’d be a little nicer and give credit where it’s due. Ryan Reynolds has improved as an actor. He can now act out three emotions: cocky assuredness, cocky goofiness and cocky dementia. Bra-vo. True enough, he’s got one hot and buff bod. Only it was offset by his red-blood contact lenses. Meanwhile, Melissa George is a younger looking Olivia D’Abo. And –uhm, I’m sorry to say that’s about everything I remember about her. All the kids were stereotypical: the angsty teenager, the middle-child pisser and the sweet little girl who befriends the friendly little girl ghost.

The movie just very plainly failed to terrify. But at the very least, it’s good enough for a few cheap thrills, if that’s what you’re after. It wasn’t exactly unbearable – at some point, there were very funny scenes. Unfortunately, they were the ones that supposed to elicit the screams.

Ha. But it did teach me a lesson, y’know – never, ever buy an old house. Don’t ever say houses can’t kill people. Coz that just means you haven’t watched enough movies. And most of all, don’t ever watch horror movie remakes ever again. Just don’t.

Finding Neverland

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Staring: Johnny Depp, Kate Winslet, Dustin Hoffman, Freddy Highmore


I had my doubts about Finding Neverland, since I was never really a big fan of Johnny Depp and after Pirates of the Caribbean, I just couldn’t see him playing a writer. I’ve heard some people say it was fantastic and that they’ve cried buckets, while some said it was boring and tedious. The thought of crying buckets over a film never really was an enticing factor to me. The reason I forced myself to watch it was because I have to pay tribute to J.M. Barrie, whom I idolize as the man who found a way to never grow up. He was able to create a world only the best of us could ever dream up. For me, he’s up there with JRR Tolkien and Ursule Le Guin.

But in increasingly surprising turns, I found myself completely falling in love with the story. Well, yes, it wasn’t perfect, but it was an imaginative take on a great writer’s life. The pace of the movie was slow – but I believe that’s only to give the audience enough time to digest the fascinating aspects of all the characters. Oh my God, some people actually thought that as boring? If they only had enough imagination and used it, the spaces in the film could have been easily filled up. And Johnny Depp – well, I have to give credence to this guy. He has a knack for taking the weirdest characters in all of Hollywood, and make it believable. Remember when people scoffed when he was nominated for an Oscar for his performance in Pirates of the Caribbean? You won’t scoff now, because he truly deserves a bit of recognition for taking a role that could have easily been boring. Somehow, he was able to portray a subtly compelling naïve, impervious genius without any goofball stunts. From pirate to Scottish writer (with proper Scottish accent). Amazing this guy, I realized. He could practically be anything.

The other luminous actor in the movie, even more so than Depp, was Freddy Highmore who played Peter Llewelyn Davies. I’ve never been as riveted watching every emotion on a young boy’s face since the Sixth Sense (with Haley Osment). This kid is intense.

Now, do I mention Kate Winslet? Well, yeah, okay, she was fairly acceptable as the widow Du Marier. But I found myself thinking something was missing from her whole performance. Oh yeah, Imagination. I could’ve watched any old telenovela on TV and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

But – oh but, the best reason to watch this movie is for the imagery. Now, don’t go expecting an LOTR type of set where everything was made real and life-sized. You need to use your imagination, and the movie chose not to impose theirs. You can see that some of the scenes were using props and men in costume and fake water, etc… But it doesn’t matter. You just see --- for yourself and with your own eyes – what you want to see. This is the whole point of the film after all.

Lastly, a lot of people seem to be touched by the last scene of the movie. Yes, it was good. Very good writing and most excellent acting. But I don’t know if I should blame Kate Winslet’s performance because I didn’t find myself caring very much that she died at all. Pity, because it’s supposed to be the climax of the film. Why did she have to die? So she could go to Neverland. Well, good for her and good riddance.

But to believe, just to believe… that gave me a bit more emotion.

And when Peter finally whispered, “I can see her…”, I wanted to see as well. Then I remembered that I have a Neverland too and I can go there anytime I want ---

I, too can see, and I, too, believe.

Watch this movie when it comes out on video -- we all need something to remind us that it's not always so bad to want to never grow up.

Miss Congeniality: Armed and Fabulous

BULLOCK SCORES ANOTHER HIT

You don't have to be Einstein to enjoy the movie. You just have to be, well, really bored. Or a big Sandra fan. And it turns out I am both.

Be sure to understand that when you do buy the ticket for this movie, you are accepting the fact that it's a feel-good movie, trying very hard to be politically correct about the everlasting contest between beauty and brains and yet absolutely failing in that regard.

Sure, you could see the punch line a mile away, but who cares? It's never cheap, and are executed perfectly by the actors. Sandra Bullock is fabulous in that role. She's believable as a tomboyish-hell-may-care-how-flat-my-hair-kinda-girl. And yet, she's believable as a beauty queen/public figure too. It's a big hooray to girls who aren't known for being beautiful but being good in what they do. Big props to Sam Fuller as well. Although, she is a bit too intense and mellowed out a bit too swiftly if I may say so myself. But hey, attitude problems are rarely resolved in two hours. And the movie could only last so long.

It's still showing in theaters, peeps... try to catch it when you can.
**** out of 5 stars